well hey there lucy, i've got a stupid question for you would you like to go get coffee with me today? i know caffeine is a softer drug than you're used to but maybe this time getting high's not our aim anyway lately i've been feeling like you only hang around me 'cause i keep you in cigarettes you say it wouldn't make a difference if you didn't get them from me but lately i've been feeling like to you i'm nothing more than a fun kid to do drugs with as long as i’m buying, you act so goddamn friendly but am i enough to keep you interested all by myself, with no artificial aid? am i enough to make you want to be near me? 'cause every time i leave you now, i always wish that i'd stayed hey there lucy, i've got another funny question how'd you like to go for dinner at my favourite cafe? we'll probably drink two or three bottles of wine in succession, knowing us but if we didn't, would you enjoy yourself anyway? lately i've been feeling like you only hang around me 'cause i keep you in cigarettes you say that that's ridiculous, you value my company but lately i've been feeling like to you i'm nothing more than a fun kid to do drugs with as long as i'm buying, you act so goddamn friendly but am i enough to keep you interested all by myself, with no artificial aid? am i enough to make you want to be near me? 'cause every time i leave you now, i always wish that i'd stayed every time you leave me, i always wish that you'd stayed oh lucy i know it sounds goofy but lucy get high on me tonight cus if i’m fighting for your love with sex and drugs i’m not going down without a fight

i was trapped in a hotel room in florida for a week and all that time my only contact with you was my phone, and i could rarely speak and while my body went to disney world i was pacing in circles inside my mind cus when you told me that you were switching schools i couldn't help but feel like you were leaving me behind i was trapped in a beach house on hornby island for fourteen days and all that time i believed i had borderline, cus you said so and we were never peaceful, we were fighting always against the shadows and green leaves i had existential crises and every night i inevitably screamed and cried cus when you told me that you would rather sleep alone it was nothing, but from the way i reacted you woulda thought that i had died you know until you don’t know, you know until you don't know you know until you don’t know and then they’re gone well i figure someday i’ll stop getting thrown away i just didn’t think it would take so long i was trapped in school for fifteen years kindergarten every grade and two more i guess cus i was slow and all that time i believed i was retarded, and an asshole, and there was no real me that you could ever get to know and my teachers said "oh sweetie, we know you're being bullied if it's any consolation, you're pretty damn smart" but when all anybody seems to care about is your brain it's so incredibly easy to forget you have a heart you know until you don’t know, you know until you don't know you know until you don’t know and then they’re gone well i figure someday i’ll stop getting thrown away i just didn’t think it would take so long

i had really hoped i wouldn't find myself here again but I also knew i totally would you're at wit's end, i'm at daggers drawn and your common sense won't do any good cus i'm determined to set fire to every bridge that i can and i know that the light will keep me up all night cus today i cared less about doing the right thing than i did about being right kitty you're a fuckup and you know it so why don't you change? you say you will over and over but you always stay the same and all the promises you made you eventually went back on kitty you're a fuckup and you know it so why don't you get gone and stay gone how many times have you tried to say "i'm done - that's it - i'm sober" well those periods of grace were lovely but always quickly over and then you're back on your same old bullshit screaming and unspeakably cruel out of the blue did you really think that after everything that happened we'd be at this show just for you? kitty you're a fuckup and you know it so why don't you change? you say you will over and over but you always stay the same and all the promises you made you eventually went back on kitty you're a fuckup and you know it so you why don't you get gone and stay gone just give me one more day just give me one more week just give me one more second to figure my life out

i am starting to feel like my head is weightless come and be weightless with me i feel like my whole body is weightless floating, placid, ten miles beneath the surface of a midnight sea i feel like i've been split into my parts molecules that together make up my soul so come be my modem, decypher my heart into something that'll never get old and save my life, please read the lines in my spectrum and tell me if hydrogen in my heart lies let it be lighter than air, 'cause right now it's infected diseased with the weight of my sins and my lines not featherweight, but as a feather disguised i feel like i've been split into my parts molecules that together make up my soul so come be my modem, decypher my heart into something that'll never get old i feel like my mind's being sent as a telegram bouncing off the atmosphere and out into space i feel like our spirits now form a venn diagram two equal circles that occupy the same place and save my life, please read the lines in my spectrum and tell me if hydrogen in my heart lies let it be lighter than air, 'cause right now it's a plectrum too burdened to lift from the strings in your eyes aorta unable to love or despise