sometimes it feels so weird to be a lady with a beard and my body becomes the embodiment of everything i've feared it's so easy to spend all day in bed wishing there was nothing i'd ever said and that every ray of light that touched me disappeared sometimes it feels so strange to think of how much i have changed in the past few years, despite apathy compelling me to stay the same the road to justice is long and the road to peace is too and it asks of me to unlearn all the fucked up thing i thought i knew but yeah, i am gonna make it there step by fragile step i'm gonna kick at the darkness and break all the boxes til there's none left and i will shout it out! i'm just the same as who i was before and nothing you can say or do will change me i am myself! a little more myself than i could be a little more myself than previously ohh i'm sick of playing the same old songs i'm sick of worrying all day long i'm sick of letting myself rot until i stink well maybe my life is just a constant disaster and maybe there's some way that i can ruin it faster but to tell you the truth, i know that's no way to think cus i've gotta float if i don't sink shout it out! i'm just the same as who i was before and nothing you can say or do will change me i am myself! a little more myself than i could be a little more myself a little more myself a little more myself than i could be previously than previously the world is burning under my feet so i've gotta stay on the edge of my seat or else i'll fall asleep or else i'll fall asleep x2 each and every single life is important each and every single life is important don't you dare tell me otherwise cus i won't believe your lies each and every single life is important each and every single life is important don't you dare tell me otherwise cus i refuse to believe your lies each and every single fucking life is important each and every single fucking life is important don't you dare tell me otherwise i will never believe your lies each and every single fucking life is important each and every single fucking life is important don't you dare tell me otherwise cus i'll never believe your lies shout it out! i'm just the same as who i was before and nothing you can say or do will change me i am myself! a little more myself than i could be a little more myself a little more myself a little more myself than i could be previously and i'll be a little more myself a little more myself a little more myself than i could be previously the world is burning under my feet so i've gotta stay on the edge of my seat or else i'll fall asleep

we didn't talk on the long drive there and it wasn't hard not to stare in fact i found it hard to look at all and she wasn't there to catch me so it's good that i didn't fall i didn't feel my feet swept out from under me nor the urge to get down upon my knees and though she made me die a pleasant little death when i think about you, i get all out of breath i get drunk when i get depressed i stay up when i need rest and i wonder why i feel like shit and i don't know what it is i need to do to get better bu i'm pretty sure this ain't it all the red flags didn't seem red at the time you were the miniature heart inside of mine but i was filled with poison and i didn't know what to do i was filled with poison and i let it leach through to you there's a symbol i keep seeing in all of my dreams and it keeps changing and i don't know what it means x2 yeah the symbol's not the thing it used to symbolize this is not a pipe it's a crock of lies this is not a gateway to heaven like i planned this is not the ocean, it's a bucket full of sand there's a symbol i keep seeing in all of my dreams and it keeps changing and i don't know what it means x2 there's a symbol i keep seeing when i get high and it keeps changing and i don't understand why it's in primary colours it's so vibrant it won't leave me alone and it keeps changing but i think it means home

do you ever feel like your brain might be conspiring against you? it keeps you awake at night and it ends up just you and your dirty mind take yourself for a ride oh, but you don’t need these thoughts i love you only said you need to keep me under locks, but honey my love it ain’t phoney i am yours until you don’t want me there’s no spare key there’s no spare key, baby i’m in the dog house tonight sleeping under the stars wishing i was waking up in my boy’s arms but he’s got a pure heart and old habits die hard and i’ll cook him breakfast baby, i’ll wash your car oh, but you don’t need these thoughts i love you only said you need to keep me under locks, but honey my love it ain’t phony i am yours until you don’t want me there’s no spare key there’s no spare key, baby he said yeah, well, i know what love is and that’s why i never got any sleep last night i know what love is and that’s why i never got any sleep last night i know what love is that’s why i never got any sleep last night i know that love is that’s why i never got any sleep last night

i was trapped in a hotel room in florida for a week and all that time my only contact with you was my phone, and i could rarely speak and while my body went to disney world i was pacing in circles inside my mind cus when you told me that you were switching schools i couldn't help but feel like you were leaving me behind i was trapped in a cabin on hornby island for fourteen days and all that time i believed i had borderline, cus you said so and we were never peaceful, we were fighting always against the shadows and green leaves i had existential crises and every night i inevitably screamed and cried cus when you told me that you would rather sleep alone it was nothing, but from the way i reacted you woulda thought that i had died oh, you know until you don't know you know until you don't know you know until you don't know and then they're gone well i figured some day i'll stop getting thrown away i just didn't think it would take so long i just didn't think it would take so long i was trapped in school for fifteen years kindergarten, every grade, and two more i guess because i was slow and all that time i believed i was retarded, and an asshole and there was no real me that you could ever get to know and my teachers said "oh sweetie, we know you're being bullied if it's any consolation, you're pretty damn smart" but when all anybody seems to care about is your brain it's so incredibly easy to forget you have a heart oh, you know until you don't know you know until you don't know you know until you don't know and then they're gone well i figured some day i'll stop throwing my friends away i just didn't think it would take so long oh, you know until you don't know you know until you don't know and then they're gone well i figured some day i'll stop throwing myself away i just didn't think it would take so long i just didn't think it would take so long